Eclipse Devotion #4: The Trip to Jacksonville

“Renee is so much more… perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy.”

Edward laughed. “Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people.”

Insightful. It was a good description of my mother—when she was paying attention. Most of the time Renee was so bewildered by her own life that she didn’t notice much else. Butt his weekend she’d been paying plenty of attention to me.

This morning we’d gone for a walk along the beach.

In my head, I went over the conversation again…

“Bella?” my mother asked, looking out past the sand to the lightly crashing waves as she spoke.

“What is it, Mom?”

She sighed, not meeting my gaze. “I’m worried…”

“What’s wrong?” I asked, anxious at once. “What can I do?”

“It’s not me.” She shook her head. “I’m worried about you…and Edward.”

Renee finally looked at me when she said his name, her face apologetic.

“Oh,” I mumbled, fixing my eyes on a pair of joggers as they passed us, drenched with sweat.

“You two are more serious than I’d been thinking,” she went on.

“There’s something…strange about the way you two are together,” she murmured, her forehead creasing over her troubled eyes. “The way he watches you—it’s so…protective. Like he’s about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something.”

I laughed, though I was still not able to meet her gaze. “That’s a bad thing?”

“No.” She frowned as she struggled for words. “It’s just different. He’s very intense about you…and very careful. I feel like I don’t really understand your relationship. Like there’s some secret I’m missing…”
Eclipse Chapter 3, page 68.

When my mother found Jesus, not many people understood her. My father, in particular, struggled with my mom’s newfound faith. Unless you’ve been in love with a spiritual being, you can’t understand what it’s like.

Those who love God love Him more than anything and anyone, but not in competition with mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, or children. It’s a different kind of love. It’s all-consuming, but not all-blinding. It’s first, but it makes you put others before yourself. Love for God is entirely paradoxical.

When I re-read this passage, it reminded me of this truth; when you are His and He is yours, people will take note, but will not always understand it. Some will feel frightened, worried, or just confused. But God’s love bears the fruit of the spirit, and those you love with those gifts will feel the warmth of His love and be drawn to it, even if they don’t fully grasp it.

~ by sarahthebaker on June 17, 2010.