Devotion #11: Bella’s Dive – Objects in Motion

Image from Mars Artworks.

I’d really been counting on hearing Edward this  morning. It seemed like that was the one thing that might make it bearable to live through this day. The hole had been festering lately, like it was getting revenge for the times that Jacob’s presence had tamed it. The edges burned.

There had to be some way to quench it….Well, why not? Why not quench it right now?

I stepped out to the edge, keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it.

“Don’t do this,” [the velvet voice] pleaded.

You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.

And I flung myself off the cliff.

That was when the current caught me….
New Moon – Chapter 15

This part of New Moon reminds me of the song “Free Fallin” by Tom Petty. It’s so much like what Bella’s been through, and what she must be thinking right at that moment…

Up ’til now, she’s been in survival mode. She’s getting cozy with Jacob and the wolf pack, but that doesn’t heal her, it only medicates her pain. Staying at Jacob’s home, alone with his father, Billy: an older Quileute man prone to long stretches of silence, while Jacob and the other wolves hunt Victoria, she’s alone with her wound in an awkward and uncomfortable place.

In our walk with God, He often moves us from mountaintop to valley. But I think there’s another place He moves us to along the journey: a cliff. The mountaintop being our “best of times,” the valley being our “worst of times,” and the cliffside is often our “age of madness,” if I were conjuring Dickens.

Our cliffside experience is when we’re the most desperate. We may have bottomed-out in the valley, but we’ve never been as uncomfortable and crazed as we are on the cliffs! It causes us to finally prioritize what we care about the most, what we really believe in, and what will save us at last. It’s decision time: turn-around or jump.

Bella made a choice: if Jacob were the real solution to her pain, she’d have gone out into the woods to find him. Instead, she went for the cliffs to hear Edward’s voice. What she was doing to simply survive wasn’t good enough, so she went for broke: she jumped.

But then something she didn’t expect happened: the current took over. Her decision threw her to the mercy of something much more powerful than she was.

Bella’s dive set a series of events in motion that changed the course of her life. She had no way of knowing how important her desperation was until later….

This is why God allows us to reach that tipping point. It means the end of mediocrity, the end of playing around. When He cannot motivate us any longer through pleasure, He will motivate u through our discomfort, our pain.

If Victoria had never come back, Jacob wouldn’t have left Bella’s side and she would have spent (likely) the rest of her life medicating the Edward-shaped hole in her chest, and her New Moon would have never become a full moon. It’s amazing how your life can change when you realize it can’t get any worse. 🙂

What are you holding onto in your valley or cliffside experience that’s keeping you from your future? What “go-for-broke” decisions have you made that, in hindsight, if done differently, your life wouldn’t be what it is now?

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~ by sarahthebaker on January 23, 2010.

One Response to “Devotion #11: Bella’s Dive – Objects in Motion”

  1. Oh, been there. I love that Bella was so desperate and nothing else could help, not even Jacob. That happens in our lives, when we’re so desperate that nothing else can help. It’s got to be God or nothing. Scary place to be from the world’s point of view, the safest place to be, though, because of our amazing God!
    Great post!

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